1988 / The Pastels in… A Bit Of The Other / Sleeve notes

The Pastels in… A Bit Of The Other
" A cocktail of Juliet Bravo, Murder At The Vicarage, and The Larry Grayson Show"

including : Truck Train Tractor, Comin' Through, & Automatically Yours

Sunday at the Hotel Priaspism: there has been an intruder, and if there's one thing Police Inspector Dogsbottom can't abide it's a strange man's hands on her things. The holydaying Policewoman surveyed the grizzly evidence - the Hotel Lounge's Tigerskin Rug had taken a fearful pummelling. Dogsbottom didn't need to ring the boys at Forensics - she examined the dead Tiger's mouth, and recognised the sickly mixture of Blood and Semen from a rather unfortunate accident at the Freemason's Christmas Party. It was an obvious and sickening case of Necrophiliac-Bestial-Gob Rape… and Boy did those teeth look sharp! It was with a nauseous shudder that Dogsbottom realised that it had been an inside job - all the male residents were walking funnily that morning! Dogsbottom eyed her suspects with suspicion.

Who could it be?… Tristram, the precocious Choir Boy who was always performing for the Vicar? He'd been struck dumb and had assumed a glazed expression during the night - part of the problem or part of the solution?… Or could it be Dick or Roger, The Motorcycling Sunday School Teachers, what were they hiding in their panniers - and who was riding pillion?… What about Billy Bludgeon the ex-Boxer? True he had fisted many an opponent over the years, but he'd been forced to quit after taking a nasty hammering around the Ring… Could it really be the debased proprietors Mr and Mrs Kerr's retarded son Juan, who had once run away to sea because he didn't like the way he was being reared (but had returned because he couldn't bear to leave his friends behind).

Inspector Dogsbottom gazed with awe at the blood flecked teeth of the Tigerskin Rug and allowed herself a wry smile. After all if she couldn't solve the mystery with her powers of Logic and Deduction, she could always check the suspects for teethmarks.

A Frank Film by Mark Flunder
Crawl Babies by F-Mix (thanks to Donald & Michael)
Sleeve notes/casting couch : Brian Orchard.

Starring : Stephen Pastel as Inspector Dogsbottom, Aggi as Oliver, Martin as Simon, Bernice as Roger, Brian Superstar as Mr Kerr, Eugene Kelly as Mrs Kerr, Frances as Juan.
With a special appearance by Andrea Miller as the Tigerskin Rug.